Hello Friends and Fellow Deviants,
I come to you in need of assistance...
You may or may not know this but I suffer from moderate to severe anxiety and depression. I have dealt with it for roughly 15 years, only worsening over the last 8 years. With my depression, I am emotionally numb 50% of the time and feel everything to a mind-numbing level the other 50%. No I do not take anti-depressants - there are reasons for this and if curious you can note me - and no I am not in therapy - the closest thing to therapy I have is roleplaying and talking with my soulmate.
Because of my both the levels of my anxiety and depression, finding full time employment in close to impossible. I can't work in stressful environments because when I get overwhelmed, my depression shoots to severe, and suicidal thoughts run rampant and the temptation to cause self-harm increases. I have started a job with a friends magazine company but things are just starting slowly, we hit a few bumps. Because of these hiccups, we have yet to start selling, which means I won't make money til we see some revenue. BUT, I'm not complaining, a job's a job; gotta start somewhere, right?
Now, as mentioned above, I do have a form of therapy. It does seem a little silly but roleplay truly does help me therapeutically - as it is an escape of reality and I can be whoever I want in a made up reality. Think about this: even just talking to my soulmate gives me some relief and causes me to feel better about myself, even if it's just temporary. Imagine the improvement in me when we meet and interact face-to-face. Doesn't that give you some hope for me? I know I feel hopeful about it. I believe that meeting with them is what I need to allow myself to break free from my emotional numbness and finally give myself the chance to let it all go and start anew; a chance to feel happy. This person is very special to me. The way I connect with my them is something I had never had before with anyone. Never.
My anxiety builds up when they are stressed. I want to hide from the face of existence when they are depressed. I smile frequently when they feel happy. My teeth grind together when they feel angry. To add to this: I would feel empty, soul less even if I lost them... Hell, I don't think I could go on living - that's how strong our bond is. That's how TRUE our soul mate connection is. We are connected by a powerful bond and we haven't even met yet! Is that even possible?
With all that said, I am asking to see if you guys could help me out, in any way possible. I have paid for a trip to go see this person. The dates I have paid for are from January 17th to 30th of next year. Though my trip is paid for, I have NOTHING for while I'm actually there; to help pay for things we do together - see a movie, eat out, go to some kind of attraction, whatever! The reason the goal is $500 is because I wouldn't want to "wine and dine" on their dime - they, like me, are on limited income. Some of that money - I know not of how much - would go towards groceries so I can cook for them/their family a few times during my stay, as thanks. Why would I have a reason to give thanks? My soulmate's "gramps" is doing me a HUGE favor by picking me up/dropping me off at the airport - they're roughly a 2 hour drive away from the airport - and staying there with them free of charge. You won't be alone in this because I will be pitching in whatever free money I get til January(on my own I should have $200CAD by the beginning*5th* of January). I'd pull money from my Visa but I need to pay my minimum payments, at least, to help keep my credit where it is - it's almost maxed out as it is. I would appreciate any and all donations that can be given, every dollar gets me closer to my goal. Those that can donate, please note me on here or IM me on Facebook, you can remain anonymous OR I can add you here as a donor. Sadly, with my depression acting up, I can't give you anything. If you want something to look into for exchange, I do have adopts and characters for sale, seen here:
Xx Characters for Sale! xXHello Friends,
I am in the mood to sell off old OCs and adopts who need to go to good homes. There are point adoptables but also cash adoptable OCs.
King Leer and Lady Snow
Price: 50 points each
Price: 60 points
Will be updated with a scanned version, as soon as I can find my original drawing xD
Rayne the Demoness
Queen Amani of the Mariposa Clan
Price: $3 (Please do refrain from claiming the Mariposa as your own, you only own the OC being sold, not the species)
Japanese Blossom Princess, Ko-No-Hana
I feel like a piece of shit coming to you guys like this and asking such a thing. It's just... This is the only way; my only hope.Accomplishment:
$70(CAD)/$500USDDate + Donors: